Does using a racial slur make you racist even if you do so on occasion, because of a momentary lapse in memory or rage?
Famous Southern cook and entertainer Paula Deen used the word "nigger" claims one of her former employees who is white. The employee also said Deen had an idea for a party where her black help would be dressed in reconstruction clothing.
But what mainly caused Deen's public disgrace and many sponsors to drop her was her alleged use of the racial slur. The offensive word seemed to qualify her as a racist more than some of the other accusations.
If we're honest with ourselves many of us, black and white, have used a racial slur at one time or another. It could have been used out of anger or in an off-handed remark. But even having used it we would not consider ourselves to be a racist. We have friends of other races and we go out of our way sometimes those who don't look like us.
So can just saying a racial slur make us a racist? Laura Puhn, a Harvard lawyer, author and relationships and communications expert thinks so. Every human being has prejudices to some degree or another, she says.
"The person who is not a racist is aware of that of that instinct to prejudge in him or herself , the person is aware of it to the point where they counteract it," she says.
Puhn adds that the wise person knows that words are a choice and while we have innate unconscious prejudices that person makes a choice not to use racially offensive words.
"The person who uses racial slurs tells me something about that person. That person is not aware of his or her own innate prejudices and that person is not trying to counteract them and that's what makes that person a racist," she says.
As for Paula Deen, this is an awakening, Puhn adds. Hopefully, she along with others, will have a new understanding on how words are a choice and if you use words that hurt because of racism or prejudices you have to take a look inside yourself.
"The best of us are not perfect and not prejudging, but the best of us are aware of it and say thou shalt not use words that harm," Puhn says.